Many of us live behind self made walls. Walls are supposed to protect us from harm but are these walls really protecting us or are they holding us captive? Are they keeping us distant from those who could love us or from the One who loves us most? What if we let our walls down and chose to trust again? It can be scary to come out from behind our walls. Some of us have lived behind them most of our lives. Some of us built them when we were small children, even before we knew what we were doing. We built them so we wouldn’t have to feel pain, hurt or rejection. We built them to hide from abuse or abandonment. We hid from our fears behind them.
Now that we are grown, how do we live outside of these walls? How do we allow ourselves to trust and risk feeling hurt or risk feeling that overwhelming pain that we have hid from for so long? What if the pain is too much? What if I allow someone to get close and they hurt me again? Like an animal who has lived in captivity all of it’s life has to learn how to survive when they are set free, we have to learn to live free. It can be down right hard and you will have moments when you run behind those walls again when someone hurts you or when you feel rejected. It’s those moments that you have to choose to face the pain and the rejection, work through it and lay it down. Learn to cast all your cares upon the Lord. Let Him heal those broken areas and heal those deep wounds that made you put up the walls long ago. We can never be truly free if we stay behind our walls. I lived most of my life behind these walls that I thought protected me. It became second nature to run behinds the walls when I was scared or hurt. Deep down I feared being rejected so I wouldn’t let people get too close. It was easier than risking being hurt or taken advantage of. God has had me in a process of healing some deep places in my life and has been digging up the roots. Now I am learning to tear down my walls piece by piece as I learn to walk in full trust and surrender and He teaches me that He can protect me better than I can protect myself. As I tear down these walls I get closer to Him than I ever imagined because those walls kept Him at a distance as well. I am learning to be free and stay free. It is a process like anything else but it is worth it. If you have a hard time trusting, remember that you can always trust in your Heavenly Father. He is not like man and He will never let you down. When all others reject you or cast you aside, He never will. He accepts you as you are, loves you more than anyone and He wants you to be free.
~ Dez
My Authentic Life 