God speaks to us in many different ways. He speaks through His word, through other people, through dreams and visions or sometimes that still, small voice. Many times with me, He will catch my attention with something that I see and then give me a vision or a “download” at that moment. The other day, right before we had our first snow storm of the year, I was walking out of my front door to take my dog out. It was freezing cold outside and you could feel the storm that was coming. To my right I saw a small yellow flower that had just bloomed. What caught my eye was, at first glance the branch it was on looked almost dead. There was no life to the branch at all except this perfect little flower. It was all by itself. As I walked away, I heard the Lord tell me, “You are like that flower. You have bloomed in every environment you have been in, despite the harshness, the trials, the deadness and even when it seemed at the time like you would not survive. I used all of those moments to mold, shape and strengthen you. You learned through those times to lean on Me as your strength and I always carried you through.”
I believe that there are many others who have bloomed the same way. One day I would like to share my story and all the things that God has brought me out of and healed me from. I feel like it would take a book. I may start here. Who knows? One thing that I do know is that I do not have regrets. I used to before I understood that God was using those moments to make me who I am today. Even when I made stupid mistakes, He always used those as teaching moments because I wanted to learn. I can truly say that if I had it to do all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing. I would go through those gut wrenching moments again and I would shed all the tears that I shed. I would go through the heartbreak and the brokenness because every one of those moments were moments on the Potter’s wheel that were used to break off what needed to be broken off and to make me over again. We are all a work in progress and we all have a different story and different things we have been through. Maybe you find yourself in one of those hard moments right now and you question God and wonder why you are going through it. Yes, there are things we bring on ourselves because of bad choices but we can even learn from those. No matter where you find yourself, if you are a child of God, you have a Father who is always there for you and will never leave you. You may not feel Him but don’t follow your feelings. Have faith that He is there and lean on Him. When you feel overwhelmed, run to Him. Ask Him to help you learn what you need to learn and to give you wisdom along the way. Trust that He is a loving Father who knows best and knows what your future holds. Be willing to let go of your way.
It is not easy to let go and surrender to Him especially when you have always taken care of yourself. I was there once. I thought I was protecting myself with my giant walls that I had put up, but I was only fooling myself and I was keeping out those who loved me, especially my Heavenly Father. I was never really able to let Him in and receive His love for me until I was willing to take down my walls. It was a process and it was not easy but it was worth it. Now when I am tempted to put up my walls, I run to Him with the anger or hurt and let Him take it. He will help you to take down your walls and surrender if you are willing. Be patient and hold onto Him through it all and one day you will also look back and realize that it was all worth it to be free and to be closer to your Father than you ever imagined.
~ Dez
My Authentic Life 